things are pretty much better now. *sigh relief* hope it stays long, till it strike him again. been happy these days, that's cuz we don't talk about it and i think he just try not to bring it up anymore. i seriously love him so much. not gonna do anymore stupid shits to get us into anymore mess.

MUHAMAD ARIFF BIN ABU BAKAR I BLOODY LOVE U!

cried to sleep afraid that the next morning everything would not be the same. but it is happening right in front of my eyes now. don't know what to do. i'm lost. he's ignoring me. i can't do anything. i'm helpless. i can only wish for a better tomorrow and hoping that he'll forgive me.

i've put in so much effort and i do not want to give up everything and lose everything. there was time, love, appreciation, care that i put into. i seriously do not want to lose everything. love him so fucking much. it's all good deed that he's thoughtful enough that we always argue. he can't stand me anymore. i'm questioning myself. am i seriously that bad?? am i seriously that idiotic to hurt him??

he's the one that treats me the best so far. and i'm the one that always been hurting so far. compare with all the old idiots. i really feel bad and tears just roll thinking about it and what happened. it's almost gonna be a year now, and i am hoping for more and longer. just wished i could turn back time to erase things that i've done to hurt him so badly. i'll never forgive myself for doing so.

he was everything to me. he was the only one that could control me and love me more than anyone could. but i've just disappointed him more than anyone could do to hurt him. i'm not the best girlfriend that i could be to him. i'm worst than an animal. really hate myself for doing so.

ps.wish for a better tomorrow.i don't want to cry no more.