he's back for a week but hardly even have time for me. time fly so fast, two more days he'll be far away from me again, and then i have no idea how long more i'll have to wait for him to come back. i'm so sad thinking about it, but he doesn't seem to understand we did not spend time much together. it felt like all at first when he is leaving, same whole feeling all over, tears start rolling again. i don't want him to leave, i don't want him to study so far away, i love him too much and miss him too much to let him go. really heart-ache. i keep thinking to myself how long more will this go on? how long more do we have to stay apart? how long more do i have to wait for him to come back? i know he's doing all this for me, but i really can't accept it. i feel so lonely without him, when i'm sad all i can do is just call him, not hold his hand or lay next to him. and i'm always worry for him, he's so far away from me, if anything happen to him there i'll be the last to know about it.

SAYANG i xnk u balik stu, sedih taw? i akn rindu u sgt2, knape u xphm lgsung and bg i ikot u?

yesterday i was so happy that i can spend time with him, today i'm very sad thinking that he'll be leaving soon and we hardly spend time together. no one understands me, no one knows what i'm feeling right now.

exactly 3 weeks i waited for u to come back, miss u so much and so much has happened in 3 weeks. sometimes moments was just so sweet and happy that i want it to stop right there where it is just the two of us and no one else. when it comes to argue, i really hate and regret for making u so pissed off at me and silly things i've done or said to u. Sayang sorry la, u know i still love u no matter what, and i seriously know you do too although sometimes i say i don't to pissed u off again. that is what i call LOVE =))))

Destiny....can be replace with fate. and if u were to ask me again what is fate or destiny it means, things happen for no reason. it just happen. for example muhamad ariff and kweh sue-ping.

i would just like to spill out what i've heard today from a friend of mine, her mother said this "if there's fate means there is, what to do if u have already love the person, there's nothing can avoid it" after hearing what she said, i was so frustrated with my life, i believe in fate for the both of us since the day we met.

we are meant to be together, for no reason, we are together and we love each other so much. i've always thought of us that way. but for some reason, my parents just doesn't accept him. it's my happiness, its my fate with him, and it really makes me feel like i have a horrible life and very frustrated with my life because of them.

i know life is never fair, but i don't understand why issit him that they don't accept, i never wanted my life to be fair or thought it would be fair, i only want them to accept him. because i love him so much that i can't loose him. and i believe everything happen for a reason, and i would try although i fail.

tears tells it all.

thing are not getting any better now. sigghs.

but what i wish for is u to not give up hope on me. i know i will proof them wrong and things will come down it to. what i need most now is u by my side, walking hand in hand with me, please, that's what i pray for. you are my energy when things aren't working out, you are the joy that lift up my smile, you are the care bear that care for me, you are almost my everything now that i just can't live without.

before going to sleep every night, hoping and wishing for a better tomorrow. tearing into my dreams and been having restless nights.

my emo crap is back. i dunno why the fuck am i feeling like this, seriously, it's so much going on inside my head, i'm so sick and tired of it. i want a great escape with him. i don't even know how to tell it to someone how i am feeling right now. i love him so fucking much, why can't anyone fucking understand me? why issit so unfair to the both of us?? why the hell issit like this?

just fucking face it that we love each other so damn much, and please stop trying to separate me away from him, cuz i never will leave him.

worst come to worst, if i can't stand anymore of ur shithole trying to ruin us, i'm gonna run away from this house. and i will prove to all of u that we are fucking serious about our future together and we will stay by each other no matter what happens cuz i'm fucking in love with him and so does he. end.

sometimes we don't have to go on a date.

sometimes it's not the things that he buy for me.

sometimes it's not what say to me.

it's just the time that we spend together(:

doesn't matter where we go.

doesn't matter what we do.

doesn't matter how long we have.

as long as we are together(:

ILoveYouSayang.

Sue&Ariff.

new year, new start

things are slowing down with him now. hopefully it's a good sign for a new year, but on the other hand, college is giving me creeps. sighss.

i found out today that what XXX actually thought about me after the whole dude thing. i can't believe XXX thought i was trying to destroy their relationship. no wonder XXX doesn't tell me stuff anymore, and i thought it was cuz of my whole bf thing and XXX thought i wouldn't have time to listen to what XXX has to say. i seriously was so fooled by it, found out today i felt disappointment. although it has been a while already, but things will never be the same anymore. just like the red-riding hood story, no more trust like how we used to :(

i would like to say: I LOVE MUHAMAD ARIFF SO SO MUCH!!!
last night i waited for that stupid guy one hour plus for him to finish work and to come fetch me so that we could go out. surprisingly i wasn't angry at him at all, cuz i know he needs to finish work first and once he habis keje he came without any excuses. when he reached, he got down and hugged me and kissed me and didn't want to let go and was so over whelmed, and told me his new year's resolution and it all related to me :D i was so touched. seriously i love him so much, and so does he. we love each other so much.

p.s: we may have problems, but whenever we are together problems fade away.